I wish…
That I could go back in time. Not to change a situation from happening or to tell myself what to look out for. Not even close. I wish I could go back in time and draw my grandfather a horse; something he had always asked for. I wish I didn’t waste my time and think that he’d always be there and just drew it for him. I wish I still could.
I wish…
People would stop thanking me for being there for them. As far as I know, a friend is supposed to do just that. They’re supposed to put their differences aside and listen to the problems that you have. They’re supposed to comfort you when you’re sad and help you solve the problem. That’s what I do. So yes, I will be there for you. I will listen to what’s bugging you. I will make sure you’re not alone. And I will help you through it. I just wish you would stop acting as though it’s never happened before…
Suicide is just a moment. This is how she described it to me. For just a moment, it doesn’t matter that you’ve got people who love you and the sun is shining and there’s a movie coming out this weekend that you’ve been dying to see. It hits you all of a sudden that nothing is ever going to be okay, ever, and you kind of dare yourself. You pick up a knife and press it gently to your skin, you look out a nineteenth-story window and you think, I could just do it. I could just do it. And most of the time, you look at the height and you get scared, or you think about the poor people on the sidewalk below - what if there are kids coming home from school and they have to spend the rest of their lives trying to forget this terrible thing you’re going to make them see? And the moment’s over. You think about how sad it would’ve been if you never got to see that movie, and you look at your dog and wonder who would’ve taken care of her if you had gone. And you go back to normal. But you keep it there in your mind. Even if you never take yourself up on it, it gives you a kind of comfort to know that the day is yours to choose. You tuck it away in your brain like sour candy tucked in your cheek, and the puckering memory it leaves behind, the rough pleasure of running your tongue over its strange terrain, is exactly the same. The day was hers to choose, and perhaps in that treetop moment when she looked down and saw the yard, the world, her life, spread out below her, perhaps she chose to plunge toward it headlong. Perhaps she saw before her a lifetime of walking on the ruined earth and chose instead a single moment in the air.
– Carolyn Parkhurst (The Dogs of Babel)(Source: larmoyante)
Via PhronemophobiaI wish…
That people could see my ‘problems’ in my perspective. I cut and burn my body because I’m trying to forget the pain and stop myself from doing something else. I distance myself so that I don’t hurt others before they can hurt me. I starve whenever possible because nothing else is working to get rid of the fat. I wear make up to hide my flaws. I paint and draw constantly to get my feelings under control. I lie a lot to save you the pain of knowing the truth. I keep everything bottled in so I don’t seem like an attention seeker.
So I’m sorry, I’m sorry you all think me or anyone else with these problems are stupid. We just wish you could see it from our perspective before you go on judging us…
I wish…
That I can confess everything that’s wrong with me. That I didn’t sit there telling little bits of my story because I’m scared they’ll leave when they see how fucked up I am. I wish I could be that strong person my friends tell me I am. I’m sorry guys, but I’m not.
i miss halloween :(
I’ve always wanted to go to Disneyland for Halloween. :[
About me
These are all the things that I wish. Some are more depressing while others can be happier. Any wishes that you may have or want posted with a background I'm happy to do so.
